We have answers for your stupid questions!
Q: I've seen other boxes like yours online. What makes Bitchy Box different from them?
A: We don't supply you with period pillows and vagina plugs! We supply you with the stuff you really want, not your blood soaking supplies you need. Get your own! Each of our monthly boxes are themed and bring a laugh as you conquer the pain!
Q: When will I get my monthly Bitchy Box?
A: We ship them out in the middle of the month depending on our suppliers. We can't promise they’ll sync with your cycle.
Q: I chose the wrong size undies. Can I exchange them?
A: We do not do exchanges on the undies. BUT you can contact us and adjust your size for the remainder of your subscription. Helpful hint: Choose the size up if you can't decide. Bloat happens!
Q: Where do you ship? Do I have to pay for shipping?
A: 3 Month Bitchy Bundles: We provide FREE shipping to the fifty, nifty, United States. We do ship to Canada, but shipping rates apply and can be seen at checkout.
A: Individual "Spotting" Boxes: $5 shipping fee (per box) applies to all US purchases. We do ship to Canada, but shipping rates apply and can be seen at checkout.
If you choose to return an item or request a refund, etc. the shipping is by customer discretion. Please reach out to email@example.com if you have any questions.
Q: Will there be chocolate in every Bitchy Box?
A: Unless you want to receive a box that looks like someone crapped on your bloated and fussy supplies, NO we do not ship chocolate during warm/hot months.
Q: I have a daughter/niece/etc. that is just starting out. I'm worried your dirty talking and f bombs are too much for my angels eyes and ears. Is there a way to find out what the themed boxes include?
A: Our goal is for our boxes to be an element of surprise every month. Themed box photos can be seen on our social media sites after the boxes go out that month. The individual boxes shown on the site for purchase will have a recommended age range shown in the product description. Please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions.
Q: I have a really cool product that would go perfectly with your Bitchy Box empire. How can I get my product in your monthly boxes?
A: We'd love to hear from you! We always like to be in the know when it comes to hip and cool trends and ideas. Our step-daughter/niece tells us "SMH" *shaking my head* when we don't know. Someone's gotta keep us in the loop! email@example.com
Q: I have allergies to specific foods/beauty products, how can I guarantee the items I receive in my Bitchy Box are safe for me to consume/use.
A: At this time, Bitchy Box cannot accommodate specific allergy requests or needs. Bitchy Box deals with products from many companies and it is impossible to guarantee cross contamination has not occurred. This is something Bitchy Box is hoping to improve in the future.
Q: I want to order a subscription for someone else. Am I able to pay for a subscription but send it elsewhere?
A: Absolutely! Just enter all of the details/mailing address for the recipient in the checkout. Please contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org if you have any questions while checking out.
Q: I'm a dude and would prefer that this ANGRY VAJAYJAY SURVIVAL KIT isn't seen by my postal carrier. Is there a way my delivery can be discrete?
A: Yes! Choose for your purchase to be "Bitch Wrapped" by checking the box off in the checkout section. It will be delivered in kraft paper with a shipping label slapped on the top.
Q: Will Bitchy Box automatically renew my subscription?
A: Nope! Once your 3 month Bitchy Bundle finishes you need to place another order to continue receiving Bitchy Box.
Q: Will box themes be the same every year? I don’t want to reorder if I receive the same crap over and over.
A: Themes will either vary year to year or if it’s a popular theme (holidays or Shark Week) items will change. Harebrained Period Panties may be the same (but newly designed). You should never receive the same items twice. If you do, contact customer service at email@example.com and we can swap an item for you.
Q: I hate Bitchy Box and I think it’s stupid. I never should have signed up for it and I want a refund. You guys suck.
A: We’re sorry you feel that way but we don’t really care what you think. Just to shut you up and get you out of our hair, contact customer service at firstname.lastname@example.org to cancel your subscription and request a refund for future boxes you’ve yet to receive.
Q: One of the items in my Bitchy Box was broken/defective/not what I expected/tasted nasty/ugly and I really just feel like complaining about it to see if I get something for free. Or I want to know if I can get a refund/exchange it.
A: Please contact customer service at email@example.com so we can listen to you complain incessantly.